empty auditorium become2

How To Become Even More…You (a part 2)

On Monday, we looked at the first step to becoming like the only person on the planet that you can become…YOU. Today, we’ll look at why what others think about you is stopping you from being yourself.

empty auditorium become2

Remember that dream where you are on a stage, naked,
in front of a standing room only auditorium?
It’s only me?

The anxiety that other people give us can be intense.
What will they think if I do this?
What will they think if I don’t?
What will they think if I’m not enough?
What will they think if I’m too much?

Who cares?
Seriously, what are they going to put you into “I don’t like you” jail?

#2. Stop caring about what other people think.

Every significant contribution to the world has had critics.
Critics who turned out to be wrong.

bonham become2 One of my favorite stories along this line is this one about John Bonham, drummer for a little band you might remember called Led Zeppelin: “By 16, he was playing in his first semi-professional band. While they were recording a demo, the sound engineer told Bonham that he played too loud and was unrecordable. Bonham later sent him a gold record with a snarky note saying, “Thanks for your advice.” via

The fact is, Bonzo DID play too loud. He hit those drums hard and Zeppelin would have never made it out the garage without him. His strength and too loud playing helped build the sound that defined them.

Naysayers say nay because they have no competing idea.
Critics cannibalize the criticism they have received
and regift it like a pair of Christmas Tree socks.
Don’t listen to that.

Surround yourself with voices that say, “THAT’S CRAZY! So crazy, it just might work.”
Surround yourself with people who value risk,
who have an appetite for creativity.
Surround yourself with people who don’t need you to prove yourself to them.
You don’t have to prove anything to anyone.
Anyone who says otherwise is looking for an excuse to feel powerful.

Here’s the truth:
Most people don’t spend any time at all thinking about anybody but themselves.

So why worry yourself thinking about what someone else thinks about you
when the truth is, they aren’t?

When you are up front speaking,
when you are handing in your script, your book, your paper
when you are doing whatever it is you do,
the person in front of you isn’t worried about you.
All they think is how what you are giving them, saying to them, doing for them…
relates to them.

So stop.
If you want to become even more like yourself, take yourself off the alter.
Really…no one cares, except maybe your Mom.

Chime in and tell me how wrong I am…I promise not to listen :)

  • http://twitter.com/SmackSmog S OBryan

    This is the best practical thing I’ve read all week!

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  • sherylobryan

    Surrounding yourself with people who see the crazy but help you find the workable in it–that’s living a good life.  I have the privilege of working with a group who thrives on the crazy . . . well, at least a few of us do.  The rest just say, “I don’t get it, but go for it!”  It’s good.

  • prophetsandpopstars

    What an awesome menagerie of personality! 
    I think that’s what team building goals looks like for me. 

  • prophetsandpopstars

    No, YOU’RE the man!

  • Suelkilpatrick

    A few years back, in a kindergarten class(on the first day of school) there was a little boy. The teacher was attempting to show the children the “proper way” to draw simple things- house, dog, flowers etc. As she looked at their work, she noticed this certain little boy would not follow her intructions.
    ” Excuse me dear, but flowers do NOT have smiles on their faces.” she corrected.
     “But, I think they do.” the child responded.
     “What is your name?”, she asked.
     “Walt Disney.”, he replied.   And so the story begins…

  • sherylobryan

    Just saw Dr. A’s tweet from much too early this AM –  “Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” ~ Chinese proverb

  • http://twitter.com/kasedoggy kasedoggy

    you’re a machine. God bless you my brother! 

  • Suelkilpatrick

    And you as our zoo keeper. Oh my…    I think I like this zoo!